At the begninning of the new school year I wrote about my feelings of displacement and how I missed being in a classroom. I really struggled with where my place in life should be. Living the life of a working mom and having a taste of a stay at home mom during my maternity leave really convinced me that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Brad found a new job that would let me do this. We moved, I quit. Life was supposed to be good. And it was, don’t get me wrong. I did love being home with the children, but it was (is) such an adjustment. Back in August I wrote again about the tug I felt to be home with an equal tug of being in the classroom, a huge part of me second guessed my decision to quit, wondering if I had made a mistake. I thought and prayed and kept Brad up many hours taking it through. My conclusion then was to stay home but find something part time.

It’s now the middle of September. I have looked here and there and even had an interview, but by choice I am still a full time stay at home mom. Someone had said to me, back when all this change was happening to give any life change 6 months to settle in. I fully agree. I would say that I’m only near 4 months into the full change and seeing very clearly the benefit of time. I wish I remembered who told me to thank them for this advice!

I feel like I’m getting “plugged in” here. I’m part of a mom’s group and have made a few good friends from that, I’m volunteering with the kids at church to get a dose of teaching, I’m also now singing in the Chancel Choir and part of a morning Bible study for women. The more days that pass by, the longing for a classroom of students is covered over by the joy of staying home.

Will I return to teaching? You bet! As soon as the kiddos are in school. One thing this whole process and change has taught me is I am called to be a teacher. But as time allows this change to settle in I am seeing that I am called more to be a mother to my children.

 



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11 Responses to On staying home {maybe longer now}

  1. Kristen says:

    Your friend was right. When I left teaching kindergarten to be at stay at home mom I was SO SO SO sad and felt so confused as to my new role…even thought I WANTED the new role. It took me about 6 months as well. Be careful, though, what you plan for the future. I always thought I would go back to teaching and here I find myself homeschooling. And, hoping to finish a Ph.D. and be a professor in an education department. Blessings on your role as a stay at home mom. It is such a wonderful place to be <3

    • Jessica says:

      Hi Kristen,
      It’s funny you mention the plans for the future… that’s a running theme around here about really not knowing what’s in store, even with all my attempts to plan my own life. Where we recently moved to is the same city that I got my credential from. The university with the best teaching program in the area is literally 5 minutes from us now. Just yesterday we were joking about me going back and getting my Ph.D and teaching teachers…. who knows, really! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this! After eight years of teaching, I am a new stay-at-home mom. I love being home with my daughter but at the same time I am feeling a little “lost” without my classroom. I have been wrestling with feelings of guilt for missing going back to school and not being completely thrilled with my new role of stay-at-home mom, especially when few of my friends understood how I could miss working! I thought I was going crazy and it’s nice to hear someone else have similar feelings! I appreciate the thought of giving it 6 months to build a routine and settle in to this change.

    • Jessica says:

      I’m glad at least it’s a “you’re not alone” moment and as you have read – I know how you feel! I really think that getting “plugged in” has helped me a lot, both in ways I can give back to society – like volunteering somewhere, in addition to finding a moms group and making friends with other moms. Blessings to you as you find your way in the motherhood journey, and I hope the 6 month guide helps you like it has me!

  3. Sounds like you are doing the perfect thing for your family. I taught for many years and being a stay at home mom has made me realize I do not want to go back to it when the kids are all in school. It’s great to figure things out isn’t it?

  4. This is such a lovely and honest post and such an important thing to share with other new Moms. It took me about 2 years (yes that long!) to really find my rhythm in my new role but now I am so utterly loving it and wouldn’t want it any other way. It really does get easier/better. Thanks for linking up to The Sunday Parenting Party.

  5. Heidi Stephenson says:

    Wonderfully written! Being a teacher is the best skill because you can use it in EVERY area of your life!!! Your blog is excellent and I appreciate the ideas. I have 4 small children that I would LOVE to stay home with, but we tried that and lost everything financially. I’m praying for a way to make it happen. Until then, I find joy in your posts and hope that all stay at home moms appreciate their role…even in the dirtiest, yuckiest, saddest moments!!!

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you! I realize that I am blessed with the ability to stay home that many are not as fortunate. There are a fair share of those dirty, tuck and sad moments, but so many more wonderful to overshadow them!

  6. Nanette Fowler says:

    I can understand, but caution you to be open. I left teaching 7 years ago, after 15 years of special education and 2 older kids, to stay home and homeschool my youngest. We added another to the mix during that time as well. I understand missing the start of school. You may miss the excitement of ending the year as well. I did. That feeling got less and less over time and I swore I would not go back. As surely as God called me into the classroom, He called me out to be with my own children. Well, horrible economy and a husband who had been unemployed for 3 years forced me back to the classroom and I am no longer comfortable there. I long to be with MY children and be teaching them. Hard to be on the other side of this discussion now when I desire nothing more. School will change, quite a bit, while you are gone too. May you follow the Lord and be happy in what He chooses for you – whatever that may be.

    • Jessica says:

      I fully agree. One lesson I have learned this little life is that God’s plan is far greater than mine and to essentially stop trying to figure out what life has in store but to just trust in his plan. It’s always worked out for the best so far :-)

  7. Lacie says:

    Thank you do much for this post and your thoughts on this! I’m a preschool teacher and I love my job so much and am struggling with the decision on wether I should remain where I am or if I should stay home with my children. ( my daughter just turned one and my son is due in July ) I feel so guilty sometimes because I’m surrounded by my students and loving it while my daughter is at daycare and I hear of all these amazing developmental firsts that I’m missing out on from my babysitter; but at the same time Im scared I won’t be able to properly support them without my full time teaching job. I’ve been praying about this and waiting for God to lead me to where He wants me. Thank you again it’s encouraging to have another teachers perspective on this :)

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